Subtlety Isn't Your Strong Suit
by SparkIntoAFlame
Summary: Dean Winchester is broken. Scars litter his wrists and he puts on a smirk and leather jacket to hide his pain. Castiel Novak is awkward, funny, and abused. Lashes decorate his back and he wears them with pride and humiliation alike. When the two are paired on a science project, will they save each other? High School AU, T for suicidal themes/self harm and abuse.
1. Chapter 1

Castiel hissed as he pulled on a shirt. His back stung from the lashes his father had whipped into him last night. Even after washing and bandaging the cuts, it still hurt like all hell.

"Castiel!" Cas flinched at the voice. "Get your lazy ass down here!"

"Yes, Father," Cas hurried down, hoping his hair was decent. He may be able to leave the house without being yelled at again.

"Decent." His father grunted his approval before turning back to a bottle of alcohol; which one, Cas didn't know and didn't want to know.

Grabbing a piece of toast, Cas almost fled out the door and sprinted to the bus stop, where he almost ran headfirst into Gabriel.

"Hi-ya there, Cas," Gabe grinned, flashing his teeth at Cas. "Where you going in such a big hurry."

Gabriel was Cas's best friend. It was an odd combination - the popular class clown and the shy nerd, who was funny once you got to know him. More importantly, Gabe knew what happened behind closed doors and windows at Cas's house. The quirky smile faded from Gabe's face.

"Are you okay? How bad it it?" Gabe seemed indignant. He shook his head. "I'm going to _kill_ him, Cas."

"No," Cas winced as he put a hand on Gabe's shoulder. "I'm fine, really-"

"You are very clearly _not fine_. Look at you. You're in _pain_."

"Don't worry about me," Cas said flatly. Mercifully, the bus screeched to a halt right then, and Gabe dropped the subject.

qllp

School was a blur for Cas. Math, Language Arts, History...everything blurred together, and he was barely aware of walking into last period: Science. He set his books down, in his usual seat, next to Gabe, who intermittently glared at Cas's back, which was starting to ache. He tuned out but started paying attention when the teacher mentioned the words "paired project." Cas turned to stare pointedly at Gabe, the sudden movement causing a flare of pain and making him mutter a curse.

"Assigned partners," the teacher added, amid groans and complaints. "Okay...Gabriel with Anna. Zachariah with Uriel. Castiel with Dean…"

Cas was sure the teacher was still talking, but he stole a glance at Dean, who was looking back at him with nonchalance. Cas sighed quietly and slumped in his seat. _This was going to be hell._


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm happy," Gabe said.

"You're with your _girlfriend_ , of course you're happy," Cas rolled his eyes and threw a crumpled up piece of paper at Gabe. Anna smiled as Cas continued. "I don't even _know_ the guy."

"Well-" Anna's suggestion was cut off by Dean strolling up to Cas.

"Hey. You're Castiel?" Without waiting for a reply, Dean handed a folded up Post-It note to Cas. "My number. For when we start working."

Cas stared at Dean as he walked away and slid into a chair at a table with his brother, Sam, Sam's girlfriend, Jessica, and some random girl.

"You finally met Dean?" Gadreel commented, sitting down next to Cas. "Either there's a girl all over him or he's all over a girl. Different one every week."

Cas groaned. "Is it too late to switch partners?"

qllp

"We're home, Dad," Dean called out, tossing his bag on the couch. "Dad?"

Dean spied a note on the dining table and sighed.

"He's out again, isn't he?" Sam flopped on the sofa and turned on the TV.

"Yeah… ' _Hey Sam and Dean. I had to leave for business and I won't be back for a week, maybe more. There's money in the cabinet and food in the fridge. Take care. -Dad.'_ " Dean read out in semi-disgust. "Yeah, he's out again. Can you make dinner?"

"Yeah, okay. You're making it tomorrow," Sam muttered, getting off the couch.

Dean took off his jacket and hung it up on the coat rack. As he reached up, he caught sight of the scars on his arm. He took a deep breath.

"Sammy…" Dean said softly. "Sammy, we had a code red last night."

Sam was at his side in an instant.

"Dean. Dean you _can't_ ," Sam's voice was cracking. "You _can't._ "

Dean looked up, trying not to cry. He hated this, he hated making Sam upset.

"I'm sorry, Sam," Dean could barely catch his breath. "Sa-S-Sa-a-Sam I-I-"

"Woah, Dean." Sam started to look worried. "You need to...sit down. Take a breath. Go lay down. I'll close the curtains. Take a nap. I'll wake you up for dinner."

Dean nodded and practically fell on the sofa. Only Sam knew about his depression and anxiety. His dad didn't count - he was barely there. And his mom died in a house fire when Dean was four. He and Sam relied on each other. There was no one else to rely on. Not the girls at school - all they wanted to do was to hook up with him. Week after week...he hated it.

"Dean?" Sam's voice jarred him out of his thoughts.

"Yeahimwake" Dean groaned sleepily. "Dinner?"

"Yeah," Sam chuckled. "Also you got messages from someone. Number isn't in your contacts."

Dean rolled onto the floor. "What's it say?"

"Uh…'Hey, it's Cas. We need to work on our project. I was wondering what time would be good for you?'" Sam cocked an eyebrow. "What project?"

"Science," Dean grunted. "Fuck _off_ , Sam," he added, spying the look on Sam's face.

Sam laughed and handed him a plate. "Sandwiches on the table."


	3. Chapter 3

"Get food on the table, boy."

Cas shuddered at the tone of his father's voice.

"Yes, Father," Cas answered, trying to keep the tremor out of his voice. "What-what should I make?"

"I don't give a shit," his father shouted.

Cas flinched. "Yes, Father."

Pulling out a frozen pizza, Cas risked a glance at his father. He was halfway through a bottle of vodka, with no signs of stopping. _Fuck_.

Twenty minutes later, Cas put the pizza down in front of his father.

"You're forgetting something," his father growled.

"I'm sorry, Father," Cas hurriedly apologized and thought quickly. What could he have forgotten? Suddenly, he felt a sharp blow to the right side of his face. He winced, but knew better than to yell out.

"Another drink, boy!" his father roared.

Cas gulped. His father was never good after two bottles of vodka. That's when the belt usually came out.

"Yes, Father."

Cas grabbed a bottle of vodka and placed it in front of his father, who grunted a dismissal. Cas nearly sprinted to his room and caught his breath. He checked his supply of first-aid; he had a feeling he would need it tonight.

Half an hour later, Cas had begun daring to hope his father had passed out drunk at the table. No such luck, it seemed, as he heard stomping footsteps. _Shit, shit, shit._

"C'mere," his father was slurring his words slightly. "I gotta belt."

Cas's stomach filled with dread. He slowly removed his shirt and braced himself against the bed. At the first crack of the belt, his cry of pain rang out.

This night would be hell.

qllp

Dean cleared the table and was in the process of loading the dishwasher when the home phone rang. The automated voice announced that it was his dad.

"Hey, Dad!" Dean tried to sound jovial, but his voice sounded flat and fake.

"Dean! Hey. Look, I'm sorry for leaving on such short notice."

"It-it's fine, Dad. Don't worry about it."

"Where's Sam?"

"He went to finish his homework. I'm just clearing up."

"Alright. I'll call tomorrow after you guys come home from school, okay?"

"Yeah, bye dad." Dean had no faith that his dad would keep his promise. He set the phone down with a sigh and checked his phone again. There was another message from Cas.

 _Dean, we need to get started.  
_  
Dean sighed and typed back: _Tomorrow, I can come over to your place?  
_  
He waited for a reply. Nothing. Cas was probably busy.

It wasn't until nearly 11PM that Dean received a reply.  
 _Uh I don't think my place will work. Can I come over to yours instead?  
_  
Dean shot back a yes and turned his phone off.

"Dean?" His door creaked open.

"Hi, Sam," Dean twisted to face his brother. "What's up?"

"Are you okay?"

"No."

Sam seemed taken aback by the blunt response. "Do you want to talk?"

"Not particularly."

"Well, if you want to…"

"Sam, don't worry about me," Dean added, nothing the look of worry on Sam's face. "I'll be okay."

Sam didn't seem convinced, but slowly nodded. "Alright."

 **Hey! Sorry if it's not up to standard, I've been having some trouble with my suicidal thoughts/self-harm. Just a note, Dean's panic attack from the previous chapter was based on personal experience, so that might not be what everyone else experiences.**


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel limped all the way to the bus stop. Looking around, he noticed Gabe sending a pointed glare in his direction. Cas sighed, and managed to walk over.

"What happened?" Gabe snarled quietly.

"I forgot his drink," Cas replied tiredly.

Gabe seemed ready to explode, but he abruptly went silent. Cas turned, holding in a curse due to both the pain and who was walking towards them.

"Castiel? You forgot your phone," his father jogged up to hand it to Cas.

"Thanks, Dad," Cas muttered. "Oh, um, Dad? I need to go over to someone's house to finish this project and I'll be staying at Gabe's tonight."

"Okay then! I'll talk to you later. Gabe, how you doing?"

"Good, sir," Gabe plastered on a smile. "You?"

"Great, thanks. Alright, bye, Cas!" his father waved happily.

Cas grinned weakly and turned back to Gabe.

"He's not like this at home," Cas noted.

qllp

Dean watched Cas enter the classroom and sit down. He was wincing as he shifted in his seat and Dean noticed a bruise on his wrist. It almost looked like the shape of a hand. Cas noticed him staring and a faint blush stained his cheeks as he tugged his sleeve down.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said, as he walked over. "Uh, this is my address. Here."

Dean handed Cas a slip of paper with an address scrawled on it. Cas nodded, then let out a small hiss of pain.

"Ow - yeah thanks, Dean."

"Are you okay?" Dean tilted his head to the side.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Cas nodded, his blue eyes catching the light. "I'll see you later."

qllp

After getting home, Cas quietly snuck into the kitchen and grabbed the keys to his car.

"Where are you going?"

Mentally cursing, Cas spun to face his father.

"Remember I told you in the morning? I'm going to finish a project and then I'm staying the night at Gabe's," Cas attempted to keep his voice even, to not betray his fear.

"Come here."

Cas, trying not to tremble, obeyed quietly. At the first blow to his stomach, he doubled over, wheezing.

"That's for making plans without telling me before."

Another sharp blow, this time to his chest. The room was beginning to lazily spin. Cas shook his head to clear it, but only earned another punch to his gut. Coughing, he began walking backwards, away from his father.

"Get out of my sight," his father bellowed, and that was all the invitation Cas needed before sprinting out the front door.

 **Hey all! I'm sorry it's not up to my usual standard :( I'll do better next time.**


	5. Chapter 5

Cas barely made it to the car before dry sobs ripped through his body. He noticed a bruise on his face and dimly remembered being hit there. He managed to take out his phone and text Gabriel, all the while coughing and attempting to catch his breath. What with the crying and the fact he had been punched several times in the gut and chest, that would be easier said than done.

 _Cas: Gabe?_

 _Gabe: Yeah man what's up_

 _Cas: Help?_

 _Gabe: What happened?_

 _Cas: IDK he seemed mad bc i made plans b4 telling him._

 _Cas: He punched me in the chest and stomach i'm winded it's harder to breathe._

 _Gabe: Drive over to my house b4 u go to Dean's._

 _Gabe: is there bruising u can see_

 _Cas: ye, on my face._

 _Gabe: is it too bad?_

 _Cas: not really_

 _Gabe: come over tho_

Cas turned off his phone and leaned back, resting his head on the seat. He closed his eyes for a minute before opening them and texting Gabe again.

 _Cas: nah, it's ok im just gonna go str8 to dean's thnx anyways_

 _Gabe: ru sure?_

 _Cas: ofc, I'll be fine._

 _Gabe: u still spending the night tho, right?_

 _Cas: 99% yes_

 _Gabe: u better not go back to your house. How many days worth of clothes u pack?_

 _Cas: gabe. My wardrobe consists of the same 10 shirts and pants._

 _Cas: I did my laundry yesterday, u KNOW i packed everything. I always have it packed._

 _Gabe: ur not going home._

Cas stared at the last message. Not going home? Well, he could hardly call this a _home_. It was a hell, a hell burning with fear and violence, with anger and abuse. Not going back was fine with him. He finally started the car and realized that if he left now, he might still make it to Dean's before 3:30. As he pulled out of the driveway, he risked a glance back at the house he was likely never to see again. He smiled a twisted smile and threw up a finger in its direction - in his father's direction. _Good_ _riddance_.

qllp

Dean checked the time. 3:23. Cas was supposed to be here in less than ten minutes and Dean was getting nervous. Why, he did not know. Maybe it was that Cas had those gorgeous blue eyes that seemed to be the color of the deep ocean waves, that his hair was always lightly tousled, that -

Dean's thoughts screeched to a stop as the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it, Sam," he hollered and flung open the door. There stood Cas, looking slightly winded.

"Hi," Cas said, sounding somewhat breathless.

Dean stared at him. There was a bruise on his cheek; it looked like he had gotten punched.

"Are you okay?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, of course I am," Cas's grin didn't quite reach his eyes. "Uh, I brought my laptop and some markers and shit."

"Oh, cool." Dean realized he hadn't let Cas in yet. "Oh, um, come in."

Dean led Cas to the living room. "It's just me and my brother, Sam. My dad's out on business." _Again,_ he added silently. "Erm, if you don't mind me asking, what's with the bruise on your face?"

A blush creeped up Cas's face. "Oh this um...I...hit my face against the railing on my bed."

Dean stared. "Uh, alright then."

"Dean? You know where my phone is?" Sam's voice trailed off as he noticed Cas standing in the living room. "Oh. Hi."

"Yeah, it's on the dining table. This is Cas, he's my partner for the science project."

"Hey, Cas." Sam waved.

"Hi, Sam."

Sam grabbed his phone and turned to Dean. "I might have Jess come over, or we might go out. Is that okay?"

Dean nodded. "Try to be back by 10, 11 at the latest if you go out."

"Our father goes on business trips a lot. I've had to take care of Sam for a week or two at a time since I was around nine or ten," Dean said as he turned to Cas.

Cas blew out a breath. "Tough."

Dean shrugged. "So, um. What's our topic?"

qllp

Several hours later, all that had been written was an introductory paragraph. Although they wouldn't admit it, both boys were constantly distracted by the other. Cas randomly glanced at Dean, forest green eyes gleaming with exhaustion and his brown hair golden in the sun. Dean didn't even try to pay attention to the Wikipedia page on half-lives and mostly glanced to Cas's soft lips.

"Shit!" Cas exclaimed, checking the time.

"What's wrong?" Dean furrowed his eyebrows and looked at Cas.

"I-well, I was supposed to be at Gabe's by now," Cas laughed nervously. "Uh, I'm supposed to be staying the night there."

"Oh. How far does he live from here?"

"We live in the same neighborhood, but from here…" Cas sucked in a breath. "At least a half-hour. And I'm so sleepy, I would probably fall asleep at the wheel."

Dean thought for a minute. "You can stay here."

Cas whipped his head towards Dean. "What?"

"You can spend the night here, if that's okay with you. And Gabe I guess."

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to be a bother…"

"Nah, it's fine. You can take the bed, I don't mind sleeping on the couch."

"No, no, I have a sleeping bag and stuff that I always keep in my car in case my dad h-" Cas stopped abruptly.

"In case your dad what?" Dean's eyes narrowed.

"Nothing. Nothing, just...forget I said anything. I have a sleeping bag, it's okay."

Dean looked at Cas for another minute. "If you say so."

Cas took out his phone to text Gabe.

 _Cas: Hey Gabe i'm gonna be staying at Dean's house, too late for me to drive over._

 _Gabe: Alright._

 _Gabe: Are you okay?_

 _Cas: IDK. not really._

 _Gabe: How's the chest and stomach?_

 _Cas: Better._

 _Cas: I should probably go. Bye Gabe._

 _Gabe: bye cas. Text me later._

"Gabe says okay," Cas said, not meeting Dean's eyes.

"Great! You need help bringing your stuff in?" Dean asked, trying to catch Cas's eye.

"Uh...no it's okay. Just my sleeping bag and clothes and stuff. It's all in one bag."

"If you say so."

"Let me just bring it in. Give me a minute."

Cas disappeared through the front door and it was all that Dean could do not to punch the air in triumph. He really liked Cas - it was a little known fact that he was bisexual. Cas on the other hand...Dean wasn't even sure if Cas liked him back, but just knowing that he was staying over was a cause to be happy about.

Cas returned, lugging a medium-sized duffel behind him and left it near the couch.

"Uh so. I have zero cooking talent, what about you?" Dean pointed to Cas.

"The extent of my cooking goes to maybe boxed macaroni and cheese and reheating leftovers," Cas grinned widely.

"Lucky for you, my friend, delivery exists!" Dean boomed, pulling out his cellphone and calling the pizza place.

Half an hour later, the doorbell rang and Cas volunteered to get the pizza from the driver. While Cas was gone, Dean noticed Cas's phone chime. Cas came back in, carrying a large pizza and grinning widely.

"Hey, you got a text," Dean called out.

"What's it say?" Cas put the pizza down on the table and walked over to Dean.

"Uh... _Good riddance to you, Castiel. I hope the bruises and stripes stay forever you faggot._ " Dean read out loud in a partial state of shock.

Cas blanched. "Who's it from?" he whispered hoarsely.

Dean read the name of the sender. "It says _Father._ "

Cas laughed mirthlessly. "Well, I hope he rots in hell."

"Cas what did he mean by the bruises?" Dean's voice was quiet. "And what stripes?"

"Nothing, Dean."

"But-"

"Seriously, nothing," Cas grabbed a slice of pizza. "Eat or else I'll consume this entire pizza." he added, grinning wickedly.

"I don't think even you can do that."

"Watch me."

And so the topic of Cas's father lay between them like a discarded grenade; too obvious and not able to be ignored.

 **Sorry this is such a long chapter! I lost track of how long it was, and I didn't think it would be as good if I cut it. See you next time!**


	6. Chapter 6

The pizza box was empty and Dean managed to shove it in the trash. He casually strolled back in the living room. Cas was leaning against the couch, knees tucked in tight and his arms wrapped around his legs. His eyes were vacant and he seemed completely out of touch with reality. Dean took that opportunity to survey him properly. His eyes were a shade of blue so bright it didn't seem possible. His hair was slightly messy but in such an adorable way it made Dean grin slightly. He looked so tired and vulnerable.

"Cas?" Dean spoke softly.

"What? Hu-oh hey, Dean," Cas shook his head. "Sorry, lost in thought."

"About your dad?" Dean asked carefully.

Cas sighed. "There's no way you're going to give it up is there?"

Dean smiled. "Nope."

"But there's no way I'm going to tell you."

Dean ground his teeth together. "Fine."

Cas blinked. "That easy?"

"You'll talk when you're ready."

Cas looked at Dean. "If you say so. What time is it?"

Dean checked his phone. "8:12. Wanna watch a movie?"

Cas grinned. "You read my mind."

Within minutes, they had set themselves up on the couch with blankets and pillows and were beginning the search for the perfect movie.

"Can we watch horror?" Cas asked, peering at the T.V. "Look, we can watch _The Shining_."

Dean shrugged. "That's fine with me."

An hour later, Dean noticed Cas had fallen asleep leaning on Dean's shoulder. He chuckled softly and shifted so that Cas could be more comfortable. The movie ended, and Dean gently shook Cas.

"Hey, Cas. Cas, get up."

"Hmm?"

"Cas, get up." Dean was trying not to laugh.

Cas sleepily opened his eyes and hastily lifted his head from Dean's shoulder. Dean turned to Cas, and he looked so cute, sitting there half-asleep and confused that it took a conscious effort for Dean not to kiss him then and there.

"Your eyes are very green," Cas mumbled.

"So I've been told," Dean answered. "C'mon, I have your sleeping bag set up in my room."

Dean set a hand on Cas's back, to guide him upstairs, and Cas cried out quietly.

"Hey. You okay?" There was concern shining in Dean's eyes.

"Yeah, maybe I didn't patch them up as well as…" Cas hesitated. He needed help with the lashes his father carved into him last time; they weren't healing well. And he trusted Dean. Cas took a deep breath. "I need your help."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, what can I do?"

Cas motioned upstairs where all of his things were. When they reached Dean's room, he dug through his bag until he found what he was looking for: ointment and bandages.

"My back. It's...worse than usual," Cas said, turning to Dean. "Can you please, _please_ , help me?"

Dean was stricken by the helpless undertone in Cas's normally steady voice.

"Yeah, of course."

Cas turned and took off his t-shirt. Dean was too shocked by the sight of his back to appreciate that Cas was half-naked in his bedroom.

"Cas…what happened?" Dean whispered, for there were scars littering Cas's skin. Some were old, and some seemed as new as a day ago.

"My father," Cas replied shortly.

Dean worked silently and quickly, applying ointment and wrapping the wounds the best he could. Cas gave the occasional hiss of pain, but was otherwise silent. Finally, Dean stepped back.

"All good, now," he said as Cas slowly got up, groaning.

"Thanks, Dean."

"Now's the time you tell me your story," Dean said sharply.

Cas shook his head and turned towards his sleeping bag. Desperately, Dean spoke the first words that came to mind.

"A secret for a secret?"

Cas spun to face Dean, indecision warring on his face. Finally he answered.

"Fine."

Dean sat on the bed and gestured for Cas to sit across from him. Cas bit his lip and stared into his lap.

"My father is a drunk bastard," Cas said emotionlessly. "I'm his punching bag. The bruise on my face, that's from earlier today. If you checked, there are bruises on my chest and stomach too."

Dean gaped at Cas, who didn't seem to be finished. "And at night, if I've made a mistake that day…" Cas shuddered to even think about it. "H-He takes a belt to my back."

Dean didn't know how to respond to that. Cas turned to him with a grim smile. "Your turn."

Dean swallowed drily. "You have to see to understand."

He slowly pulled off his hoodie, and with just a t-shirt underneath, his scars were completely visible. Cas slowly, gently took his wrist in his hand and traced a scar. Dean flinched.

"You did these?" Cas murmured. He didn't seem angry, just concerned.

Dean merely nodded. He couldn't speak.

"There's so many."

"I have depression. And anxiety. And I get panic attacks a lot," Dean looked away from Cas. "These...it's the one pain that I have control over."

Cas tilted Dean's face towards his.

"No, Dean. Don't take it out like this. Talk to someone. Hell, you can talk to me now."

Dean averted his eyes from Cas's. His eyes were burning now, and he could feel tears leaking out. He took a shuddering breath and wiped his eyes.

"Thank you, Cas," was all Dean could manage before starting to sob silently. Cas said nothing, only gripped him tightly.

After a few minutes, Dean's shaky cries subsided and he lightly pushed out of Cas's embrace. Looking into Cas's blue eyes, Dean couldn't help but realize that he had fallen in love with an angel.

"Your eyes are very blue," Dean whispered. "And your lips look very soft…"

Cas smirked. "Subtlety isn't your strong suit, is it Dean?"

Dean was ready to reply snarkily before Cas's lips stopped the answer in his throat. Snaking an arm around Cas's neck, Dean pushed the shorter boy onto the bed. They finally broke apart, only for Dean to breathe quietly, "Damn. You're a good kisser."

Cas laughed softly. "Fuck the sleeping bag. I'm staying here."

And so they spent the night together, curling up against each other, never once leaving the other in a silent promise to always be there for each other.

 **Hi! If you guys like the longer chapters, I can post those types.**

 **Who got the "gripped him tightly" reference?**

 **And thank you to the guest who mentioned the app. I might look into that, but I go on a website called 7CupsofTea which is useful.**


	7. Chapter 7

Cas awoke the next morning curled into a ball with Dean's arm around him. He managed to squirm out of the tight hold and check his phone. There were multiple texts from Gabriel. Remembering his promise to text him back, Cas quickly unlocked his phone.

 _Gabe: Hey Cas, how you doing?_

 _Gabe: Cas, what's up?_

 _Gabe: Everything ok?_

 _Cas: hey sorry yeah everything's great._

Cas set down his phone and turned back to Dean. Everything came flooding back into him. Biting his lip, Cas took Dean's arm in his hand and examined it more closely. The scars criss-crossed with no apparent rhyme or reason. They all looked to be of varying ages and some...as new as yesterday or the day before. Cas took to touching the lines softly, occasionally pressing feather-light kisses to Dean's arm.

"G'morning, Cas," Dean groaned. "What you doing to my arm?"

Cas smiled sadly and traced a scar. Dean shifted in bed, moving his arm away from Cas who kissed his forehead.

"It's Saturday. What do you want to do?" Dean asked. "We could stay in bed all day…"

Cas laughed. "Tempting, but no. How about our science project?"

qllp

For several hours, all they knew was printer paper, Sharpies, research, and kisses. When they were finally finished, they stepped back to admire their work.

"Pretty good," Dean admitted, putting everything back.

Once they cleaned up, Dean collapsed on the sofa and Cas leaned on his shoulder. Dean kissed Cas's head. Cas flipped onto Dean's lap.

"Ca-" Dean was cut off by Castiel's mouth on top of his, as he slowly melted into the kiss and hummed happily.

Several (impressively long) minutes later, Cas's phone buzzed. Confused, he looked at the caller ID and paled. "Two minutes, Dean."

He answered the phone and walked swiftly out of the room. Dean waited, concerned, for his boyfriend to come back. Nearly ten minutes later, Cas walked back in, white and trembling.

"What's wrong? Babe?" Dean pushed himself off the couch and gathered Cas into his arms. Cas started crying and shaking so hard Dean could barely hold on to him. "Aw, sweetie. Come here."

Cas allowed Dean to scoop him up in his arms and carry him up into Dean's bedroom where Dean set him on the bed. Cas continued to cry and shudder for almost twenty minutes while Dean ran his hands through Cas's hair.

"Baby, can you tell me what's wrong?" Dean murmured when Cas had calmed down.

"That was the hospital calling. Gabe's in the hospital. Apparently, someone beat him up," Cas took deep breaths and glanced around with panicked eyes.

"Oh, Cas. D-"

"That's not the worst of it, Dean," Cas swallowed. "It was my dad that did it."

qllp

They were speeding for the hospital, Cas still a little pale and Dean gripping his hand, only one hand on the wheel; Cas had looked too scared to drive. They screeched to a stop in front of the hospital and sprinted inside.

"Hi, we're here to see Gabriel Aenjil?" Cas said frantically.

The receptionist pointed down a hall and said, "Room 135, to your right."

Cas and Dean hurried down the hall, the former suppressing sobs and the latter whispering comforting words. They reached the door just as Anna and Gadreel walked out. Cas hugged Anna tightly while Dean spoke to Gadreel in a hushed voice.

"What the hell? All I know is that Cas got a call from someone and started crying and shaking a-"

"Dean. Calm down. I called him, told him what happened to Gabe. I needed to, they're like brothers," Gadreel glared at Dean. "What was he doing with you anyway, Dean?"

"I was working on a science project," Cas answered, a corner of his mouth twitching.

 _Wasn't just a science experiment_ , Dean thought.

"I want to see him," Cas turned to Anna. "Can I?"

Anna gestured towards the door and sat down on a plastic chair. Cas eased the door open and felt bile slowly raise in his throat.

"Hey, Cas," Gabe grinned.

He had bruises on his face and neck and there were more peeking out from under his shirt. He grunted quietly as he shifted to face Cas and Dean.

"Gabe…" Cas breathed. "I-I'm so sorry. This is my fault."

Gabe shook his head. "Nah. It's your old man's fault." He turned to Dean. "Hi, Dean."

Dean smiled, but his eyes were rapidly taking in the damage done to Gabe's body.

"Gabe...I'm...I should have told him I wasn't at your house, then he wouldn't have come looking for me," Cas was on the verge of crying again.

"No. He would have found you, and probably beat you half to death," Gabe narrowed his eyes.

"He beat _you_ half to death! Dammit Gabe, this is all my faul-"

"Cas, shut up. On a completely different topic, why are you two holding hands?" Gabe looked pointedly at Dean and Cas's hands which, indeed, were entwined. Cas let go as if burned.

"Well, uh, I mean, it's not-" Cas sputtered, casting around for an excuse.

"Are you together?" Gabe's accusation clanged through the air.

Cas hung his head and muttered "Yes."

Gabe's face split into a wide smile. "I KNEW YOU WERE GAY!"

Cas's head shot up. "What? No, I'm pan!"

Gabe waved a hand. "Eh, close enough. You guys are cute."

"I...well...thanks?" Dean scratched the back of his neck.

Gabe lay his head back down and beamed. "Alright, get out of here. I'll see you later."

qllp

In the car, Cas and Dean came to the conclusion that Cas would take the spare bedroom and stay at Dean's house. When they came home, Cas immediately fell onto the sofa and lay down. Dean sat next to him and stroked his hair.

"You okay, Cas?"

Cas shook his head and mumbled, "'S all my fault."

"No, it's not Cas. It's your dad's fault."

Dean leaned over and nudged Cas to move a little and lay down next to Cas. He threw an arm around Cas and met his eyes.

"It's not your fault, Cas," Dean stared into Cas's blue eyes. "It's not you."

Dean brushed a strand of dark hair out of Cas's face. Cas gave him a strained smile.

"Stay?" Cas whispered.

Dean nodded and let Cas curl up next to him, his head on his chest and legs intertwined.

qllp

"Dean?" Sam called out. Dean hadn't answered the door when he rang, but he might have fallen asleep. "Dea-"

Sam stopped dead in his tracks as he entered the living room. There was Dean, asleep, leaning on Cas's head, their hands clasped together. Sam grinned and put a blanket over them. He'd wake them up for dinner later.

 **I feel like** _ **shiiit**_ **. I'm sorry the writing isn't that good.**


	8. Chapter 8

"Oi, Dean. Dean."

Dean felt a hand shaking him, and grunted quietly. "What?"

"Babe, get up, we've been caught." A different voice said those words, quiet and exasperated.

Dean opened his eyes and took in the sight of his brother standing over him and Cas sleeping together on the sofa. Dean scrambled to sit up, much to Sam's amusement.

"Wha-we just fell asleep," Dean sputtered indignantly. "The fuck, Sam?"

Cas sighed. "You have the dirtiest mouth I have ever had the misfortune of hearing, Dean."

Dean grinned and kissed Cas's cheek.

"Dean," Cas groaned as he sat up to meet his boyfriend's lips. "Dean, come on."

Sam crossed his arms. "No PDA in front of me please."

Dean stuck out his tongue and kissed Cas again.

"Dean, c'mon I'm hungry," Cas laughed as Dean pressed kisses to Cas's jaw.

"But-" Dean whined.

"Food," Cas interrupted, hauling Dean to his feet, "is more important."

qllp

Cas slept in the spare bedroom, connected to Dean's by a bathroom. He could barely sleep, and when he did, he was plagued by nightmares about his father and the beatings he endured. Cas woke up, tears staining his face and a cold sweat covering his body. The next thing he knew, he was hurling into the toilet. He felt warm hands rubbing his back.

"Take it easy, Cas." That was Dean's voice.

Cas coughed and reached up to flush the toilet. "Fuck."

"You okay?" Dean seemed concerned.

"Ye-no, not really," Cas sighed as he rested his head on Dean's chest.. "I-I don't want to talk about it."

"You sure?"

Cas closed his eyes. "Mhm."

Dean let Cas fall asleep on top of him before carrying him back to Cas's room and putting him back in his bed.

qllp

"How'd you sleep?" Dean asked the next morning.

Cas shrugged listlessly, yawning.

"That sounds like 'not well'" Dean raised his eyebrows. "You sure you're okay?"

Cas nodded, and sighed. "I'm fine, Dean. Really."

Dean looked like he wanted to argue, but a glare from Cas had him dropping the subject.

"Well, we have nothing to do today. We can...I don't know, what do you want to do?"

"Well, Jess and I are going to the park. You guys can come with," Sam offered, walking in.

Cas shook his head. "I'm good."

"Maybe we'll come see you later," Dean added, taking a bite of his toast. He frowned at Cas. "You need to eat, you know."

Cas had barely touched his food. "What? Oh. Yeah," he said.

Sam shot a look at Dean, one of confusion and worry. Dean subtly gestured for Sam to leave. Sam left the kitchen with a hurried goodbye and a final glance at Cas. Once Sam left, Dean got up and sat on Cas's lap.

"Hello," Cas said, bewildered.

Dean pressed his forehead to Cas's.

"Hello," he said, and softly kissed Cas who hummed contentedly.

"What was that for?" Cas asked when they broke apart.

"To get you to talk to me," Dean teased before becoming serious. "Cas, what's wrong? You've had nightmares and…"

Cas gulped. "I can't talk about it."

Dean sighed, cupping Cas's face in his hands. "I'm not getting up until you talk."

Cas squirmed in his seat and took a deep breath.

"It's not terrible. It's probably to be expected. It's...I keep dreaming about my dad. Especially this one time…he almost killed me, Dean."

When Cas looked up, his blue eyes where shimmering with tears.

"He _what_?" Dean's face was a mixture of indignation and anxiety.

"I...forgot that he was coming home early, and...I basically fucked up. I fucked up, and he smashed a beer bottle over my head before giving me the _worst_ lashing he ever gave me. I had to get stitches and stay in the hospital for a week or so."

"Babe…" Dean seemed at a loss for words as he hugged Cas tightly. "He can't touch you here, you know that, right? You're safe here."

Cas took a shaky breath before offering a tentative grin. Dean got off of Cas's lap and lifted Cas into his arms.

"Dean, what the shit?" Cas asked as Dean carried him into the car. "Where are we going?"

"First, to see Gabe. Then, we're gonna go meet Sam and Jess in the park, yeah?"

"Sure," Cas grinned, kissing Dean gently.

 **Fuck, I can't write. I don't want to let y'all down, but I might take a break just to gather myself mentally. Sorry :(**


	9. Chapter 9

"Hello?" Dean answered the phone without checking who it was.

"Hey, Dean!" That was his father's voice. Dean internally groaned. _Fuck._

"Hi, Dad," Dean replied in a strained voice. "How's it going?"

qllp

"De-oh." Cas had just walked in, but noticed Dean on the phone. Dean seemed slightly annoyed and frustrated.

 _One second_ , Dean mouthed.

"Yeah, everything's good." A pause, then, "Sam's fine." Another pause. "Uh, what?" Silence. "Why are you asking?"

Cas furrowed his brow in confusion as Dean sighed, "Yes, Dad, I'm dating someone...No, it's not a girl."

Dean's eyes widened with what seemed to be pleasant surprise. "You're...okay with that?"

Dean wandered into the kitchen to continue chatting with his father. Cas cringed when he heard the faint words "...abused...really bad...staying…" and then laughed quietly as Dean let out a whoop of joy.

"Yes! Thank you, Dad!" Dean yelled, loud enough to wake Sam who had been napping on the couch.

"That my Dad?" Sam asked Cas sleepily. Cas nodded silently as Sam crossed the room in four strides and plucked the phone out of Dean's hand.

"Hey!" Dean protested, as Sam laughed and held the phone up out of Dean's reach. Although Sam was a year younger, he was three inches taller than Dean, and used it to every advantage he could.

"Dad, you're on speaker," Sam informed him as Dean tried to steal the phone back.

"Good. Hey, is Dean's boyfriend there? I want to meet my son's significant other."

Dean motioned for Cas to join them, and they sat around the table, Dean leaning on Cas's shoulder, which was rather distracting when John was talking to Cas.

"Uh, yeah sir, I go to Dean's school. We have...science, math, and language arts together I think," Cas pushed Dean off of him while attempting to politely answer John's question. John's chuckle rang out in the mostly silent room.

"Is Dean trying to use you as a pillow?"

Cas grunted as Dean threw himself on top of Cas again. " _Yes._ "

"Get used to it, Cas."

Cas groaned in defeat and let Dean rest on his shoulder. "Fine, Dean."

Dean let out a triumphant noise and clicked something on his phone. "Hey, Dad, I'm putting you on video."

A few seconds later, John's face popped up on Dean's phone screen. "Hey there, guys," he said, scanning the boys' faces. Dean rotated the phone so that John could see Sam.

"Hi, Dad," Sam grinned, leaning back in his seat.

John glared at him. "Don't do that, Sammy."

Cas choked on a laugh. " _Sammy_?"

Sam muttered something about childhood nicknames and shook his head. Dean's smile widened and turned the phone back to him and Cas. John propped his phone up on a table and leaned over.

"You're Castiel, then," John said. Cas nodded carefully. Something about John was...familiar. Not necessarily bad, but Cas's past hadn't exactly been great. Familiar normally wasn't a good thing. He snapped back when he heard his last name.

"I had a coworker with a son named Castiel."

Dean gripped Cas's wrist under the table. "Uh, Chuck?"

"Yeah, Chu-" John frowned at Cas. "That's your father, huh?"

Cas nodded mutely. He didn't want to relive what had happened just yet.

"Dean told me what happened. I'm sorry, Cas."

John's voice was surprisingly empty of any sickly sympathy or pity. Dean squeezed Cas's hand again and began talking animatedly about their science project. John, to his credit, acted as though he was paying attention.

It was nearly twenty minutes until John announced he had work to do and had to leave before hanging up. The screen shut off and Dean shoved his phone back into his pocket as Cas slumped in his seat, holding his head in his hands. Dean looked over, concerned, before subtly signalling to Sam to leave.

"Hey," Dean pushed Cas's hands away from his face. "You alright?"

Cas's eyes were sparkling. He blinked once, twice, before shrugging without any real feeling.

"You want something?"

Cas shook his head and mumbled, "I knew your dad. Coworker with mine. Real nice guy, used to say hi to me."

"And…"

"Nothing, just threw me off for a minute there."

"Cas…"

Cas glanced at Dean's face, a picture of worry. He sighed. "He's just a really nice guy, Dean. He...saw this old bruise on my arm once, asked me what happened. I lied, said I hit it against the railing or some shit, I don't know."

Dean let out a breath of air before kissing Cas softly. "If that's really all…"

 **Fuck I'm bad at writing forgive me.**


	10. Chapter 10

"Dean," Cas groaned softly, as the other boy's arm flopped on him, "Dean, we gotta wake up."

The blissful weekend was over, and it was time to return to school that Monday. Cas had elected to squeeze into Dean's bed in the middle of the night and Dean had simply scooched over to make room. Dean flipped over to lie on his side and smiled sleepily at Cas.

"Good morning, sunshine," he yawned.

Cas kissed Dean's forehead before leaping out of bed. He pulled the blankets off of Dean.

"Get up you lazy _ass_ ," Cas laughed before yelping a curse as Dean bounded out of bed and pushed him against the wall.

"You _asshole_." Cas struggled, pinned under Dean's arms.

Dean wrapped one arm around Cas's waist, hooking the other around his neck and kissing him deeply. Cas leaned into the kiss and sighed before pulling away.

"Love you too, baby," Cas murmured, running a knuckle over Dean's jaw. Dean said nothing, merely capturing Cas's lips again as the other boy placed his arms over Dean's shoulders.

"Hey g-oh."

They broke apart abruptly to see Sam grinning in the doorway.

"Sam!" Dean blushed a deep red.

"Hi, sorry, get ready you gay idiots," Sam said before dodging a pillow (courtesy of Dean) and sprinting out of the room, chased by a "Pansexual!" hollered by Cas.

qllp

Everything about school was satisfying. The normalcy of the routine let Cas block out the crazy weekend that had ended with him and _Dean fucking Winchester_ in the same house (and bed). But the best part of it was the shock of seeing Gabriel - healed and joking - sitting in class. Cas made a beeline to his best friend and nearly sobbed with relief when he threw his arms around him. Gabe was his _brother_ , the one who had stuck with him through everything, through the beatings and whippings, the nights where Cas couldn't sleep through the pain, and seeing him in the hospital made Cas realize how much this brother-but-not-really meant to him.

"Cas, I'm alive, you know," Gabe chuckled as Cas let go of him in disbelief.

"Alive? _Alive?_ God, Gabriel, I thought you were going to _die_ ," Cas gasped.

"I noticed when you came to visit me in the hospital _sobbing_ your damn eyes out."

Cas scoffed and Gabe's eyes locked on to the figure behind him.

"Well, well, well, Dean Winchester," he drawled, smirking at Dean who returned the gesture. The cocky smile dropped from Gabe's face as he extended a hand. "Thank you. For taking care of Cas."

Cas's cheeks heated but Dean fixed Gabe with a piercing gaze before taking the proffered hand. "Of course."

Gabe clapped Dean on the shoulder before turning back to Cas, giving him a half-smile. Cas collapsed in his chair and returned the grin. Everything was going to be okay.

qllp

Dean was equal parts frustrated and excited. His father was going to walk through that door any minute now, finally returned from whatever damn business trip he had this time. . He was laying on Cas's lap, who was absentmindedly stroking his hair while texting Gabe. Sam was sitting on a chair opposite them, trying to read a book.

Several minutes later, the doorbell rang. The three boys looked at each other with wide eyes before Sam got up to open the door for his father.

"Sammy!" John said by way of greeting, and Cas couldn't help but stifle a laugh as Sam's beetroot face appeared in the threshold of the door.

"Hey, Dean," John smiled as his oldest son practically tackled him. Cas saw Dean whisper a few words in his father's ear before hugging him tighter.

John released Dean before facing Cas who had stood up.

"Hello," Cas said, smiling slightly.

John grinned before shaking Cas's hand. "Pleasure to meet you, Cas."

"You too, sir."

John waved a hand airily. "It's John for you."

Cas smiled nervously. "Right, s-uh, John"

Dean looked between his father and boyfriend like a tennis match before making his way behind Cas and slyly encircling his arms around Cas's waist.

"What th-" Cas started before realizing who is was and relaxing. "Dean, you idiot."

Dean only smiled sweetly.

qllp

Cas and Dean both pretended that they didn't know the other was awake. They pretended not to notice the spill of light from beneath the other person's door when they peeked out. They pretended...until around 1:13AM when a faint knock on Dean's door had him practically running to open it.

"I-I-" Cas seemed utterly confused and miserable. Dean merely stepped aside and let him curl up on his bed.

The lights were off, the room was darkened when, at nearly 2AM, Cas and Dean fell asleep, the latter with an arm around the former whose forehead was pressed against the other's shoulder. And that was the way John found them in the morning when he came to wake up his son because it's the weekend, and he can't let them sleep in _forever_.

So John pretended he never saw them and when they came downstairs half an hour later, he merely smiled and motioned towards the table where there was pancakes (thanks to Sam, who loudly declared his responsibility) and coffee.

 **I think my writing is steadily getting somewhat better. *shrug* it still sucks.**


	11. Chapter 11

Dean groaned as he shut off his alarm, the task made all the more difficult at he reached across his boyfriend.

"Cas..." he tapped his boyfriend's shoulder. "Cas, babe, get up."

"Fi' more miniz…" Cas muttered, rolling over.

Dean sighed quietly. "Babe, please?"

Cas grunted and opened one eye. "No."

Dean flipped Cas onto his back before straddling his waist and leaning closer. "Yes, my darling."

Cas gasped slightly as Dean kissed him deeply, placing a warm hand on Cas's chest. Cas lifted his arm around Dean's bare back, tugging him closer. Dean pulled away slightly, making Cas whine.

"Get up," Dean grinned, slipping off the bed.

qllp

"So," Cas set down two cups of coffee, "we have our own apartment now."

Indeed they did because right after they graduated from college, they found a small apartment that would fit the two of them.

"What about it?" Dean raised his eyebrows, stirring sugar into his coffee.

"I dunno. I wanted to say something but I forgot," Cas furrowed his brow, glaring at his mug. "Fuck. Uh...oh! How would you feel about getting a bird?"

"A _bird_? Why not a dog?"

"Babe, I'm not walking a fucking dog everyday. I'm too damn lazy."

Dean snorted. "Somehow, I recall you saying that I had the dirtiest mouth you ever heard."

Cas grinned wickedly. "Wasn't that when Sam found us _napping together_ on your couch?"

"Good times. Do you have work?" Dean added, glancing at Cas.

"No. It's my birthday, dumbass, I'm not gonna work _today_."

Dean smiled. "Good. Because I'm taking you out."

" _What_?"

qllp

Dean's eyes sparkled more than ever as Cas unlocked the front door.

"That was fun, yeah?" Dean asked, throwing an arm around Cas's shoulder. Cas nodded and looked over at Dean.

"What's up, babe? You seem-" Cas started. But whatever Dean seemed, it never made its way out of Cas's mouth as a loud "SURPRISE!" cut him off, shouted by Sam, Jess, Gadreel, Gabe, and Anna. Cas choked on a laugh as Dean grinned at him.

"Happy birthday, Cas," Dean whispered. Cas shook his head in disbelief.

"How did you even…" Words failed him now.

"A week of planning," Gabe said. "Honestly, Dean did _everything_ , it's not even funny."

Cas spun, wide-eyed to face his blushing boyfriend. "You're _amazing_." he breathed.

Dean smirked, taking Cas's hands in his own. "Only for you, baby."

"Aww, you two are so _cute_ ," Jess squealed.

Dean coughed pointedly. "I'm the cuter one."

Cas gaped, protesting loudly as Gadreel and Gabe dragged him into the kitchen where a cake sat on the table.

"Thank Anna for this one," Gabe noted. There were black wings frosted on top of a cake. _Happy Birthday Castiel_ was written in gold. It was almost too pretty to cut. Almost.

qllp

"Thank you," Cas said, after the last of the partygoers had filed out the door with promises to see each other again soon.

"Oh, there's one last present. Two, actually," Dean kissed Cas on the cheek before hauling him to his feet.

Cas allowed himself to be led into the bedroom where he laughed. "I don't think taking me to bed is a present, Dean."

Dean shot Cas an incredulous look before uncovering a dome that had been hidden in the corner. "You wanted a bird."

Cas gasped as he saw the small white and blue bird tittering in its cage.

"What's her name, Cas?"

Cas allowed himself a moment to consider before answering.

"Skye."

As if in response, the bird hopped again.

"Another thing. Close your eyes," Dean ordered.

"Why?" Cas asked, shutting his eyes tightly. The only response he received was the rustling of fabric and what sounded like a stifled nervous giggle.

"Open your eyes, babe."

Cas obeyed and immediately gasped. Dean was kneeling, holding a small box open. But the most important thing was the ring nestled into the box.

"Castiel Novak. You are the most amazing man I have ever known. Since the day we met, I've never taken a blade to my skin, and the thought of leaving you is unfathomable. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you do the honor of marrying me?"

Cas squeaked. "Holy shit. Oh my god. Dean oh my god. Yes yes yes a thousand million times yes!"

Dean slipped the ring on Cas's finger before Cas looped his arm around Dean's waist and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

"I love you," Cas murmured as they broke apart.

"Love you more," Dean countered.

qllp

The wedding was small, just their close friends and family. It was the short time before the wedding that Dean was freaking out.

"Oh my god what if I trip?"

"You won't," Sam sighed.

"What if I mess up my vows?"

"Won't."

"Sam, I'm freaking out."

"I noticed."

Dean opened his mouth again to voice another fear, but he was interrupted by the music shifting.

" _Shit_." Dean could barely breathe.

Sam laughed and pushed Dean towards John.

"Good luck," Sam winked as Dean whipped his head towards John.

"Dad, I'm fucked."

"Watch your language," John grinned as they began the walk down the aisle.

Dean mumbled quietly before looking up to glance at his soon-to-be husband.

" _Cas_." Dean spoke so quietly, not even John heard him as he stepped onto the altar.

"Dean."

"Do you, Dean Winchester, take this man, Castiel Novak, as your husband?"

Dean grinned widely, as he said the two words. "I do."

"Do you, Castiel Novak, take this man, Dean Winchester, as your husband?"

"I do."

"You may now kiss the groom."


End file.
